Claustrophobia and anxiety: 1 down, 17 to go!

First radiation treatment today. Not at all pleasant. I had to stop the process twice because of overwhelming waves of anxiety/claustrophobia. They did cut eye holes in my mask which helped somewhat and I now have a prescription for a mild tranquilizer if necessary. I am going to try again tomorrow without "drugs" -- I'll bring some favorite music and see if I can get lost in that. Today took a bit longer than will subsequent treatments because they were marking targets on the mask, taking pictures, and calibrating the delivery apparatus. Hopefully things will go quicker and better tomorrow. Everthing seems to go OK for the first five minutes or until the technicians leave the room -- which ever comes first -- then panic unlike anything I have ever experienced. I feel like I am suffocating, can't swallow, absolutely need to get free of my mask restraint! All in all, a bad scene (although the radiation treatment itself is no major trauma). Heading to Mpls tomorrow afternoon to take care of some "hoop jumping" at the U then back here Wednesday pm for treatment three. At least the end is in sight -- 28 January but who's counting. /dps